Didn't Get His Lucky Charms

One of the most interesting things that happened to us in Dublin was that we think we met a real-life Leprechaun!

Let me explain: One evening, AC and I drug our tired little souls into one of the few gay bars in Dublin. It was pretty much the same as any gay bar we'd been in, so we grabbed a beer and watched the obligatory drag-queen fundraiser they were holding.

Suddenly, a little man sitting at the table next to us motioned us over. He was maybe just under five feet tall, and spoke in the strongest Irish accent we'd ever heard.

Leprechaun: Durm slap trum, eek up furvish sleep slag ... DRINK."

Let's just say the only word we understood was 'drink' (a word that AC and I can apparently understand in any language).

We looked at each other across the table, seeing if perhaps the other person caught what he was trying to say. We thought about trying to make a break for the door, but wondered if we kept talking to this guy, there might be a pot-o gold in it for us. As we listened further (I shoved a bunch of shamrocks in my ear, which helped), he said to us:

Leprechaun: Thay wun't gimme uh point uh beer ut thee bargh, 'cause thay thinks me straight!

Just our luck, a gay leprechaun! Actually, we'd seen the little altercation with the bartenders earlier. Some lesbians ditched their vodka red bull at his table, so he promptly took it to the bar and tried to turn it in for a beer. He then asked us if we'd try and exchange it, because they would no doubt know that we were gay.

I tried to explain to our little friend that this isn't Wal-Mart, and they probably don't have an exchange program for drinks you didn't even buy in the first place. Then he asks:

Leprechaun: Does yah thinks me gaay? 'Cause ooy've been wit loads o' women, ooy 'ave!

I tried to explain that we had just met him, and couldn't possibly tell if he was gay -- or even understand him for that matter. Sadly, he continued to barrage us with questions about how he could tell if he were gay, and he could tell that AC and I are clearly very gay. We hung around for a while hoping a rainbow would magically form around this guy and we'd be right there to nab the treasure, but it was dark in there and I'm not sure if I would have seen it anyway. We offered to buy him a beer, and when we got back he was gone. Either stumbled home, or went along on his magical way to tell his riddles to another poor soul. We'll never know ...